How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Randomize
