Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
