Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
