When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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