Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
