Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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