I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Randomize
