If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Randomize
