You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
