are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
