meet me or not, i'm out of control
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize