i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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