you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
