you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I wear drunk well.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
