I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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