remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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