At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
