I have demons in me.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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