So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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