Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
