Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
We talked him into tasing himself.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Randomize
