so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
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I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
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Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
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