woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
