I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
