I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
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