Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
