You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
I did not marry a roomba.
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