covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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