Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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