We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
