I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
