her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I bet he comes in French.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
