we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
