i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
