Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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