well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
