Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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