I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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