Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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