I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
