dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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