worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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