What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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