What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
