in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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