Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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