i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize