I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
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