I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
