So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
