Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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