Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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