i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Randomize
