Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
