while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
