she told me i tasted like america
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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