I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
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if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
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He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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