Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
