there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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