I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
