Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
