I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
