Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Randomize
