My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
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